Year of Discovery (Week 13: First Half of 2021, Our Mind as Rock, Soil or Water)
One of the most beautiful parts of writing this blog every week is that it makes me hyper-present and aware of the awe and wonder of my everyday life — from the individual conversations to the ebbs and flows of my internal energy to an overall amusement of how often things change around me. I always think to myself: What will I write about next week? And it refocuses my energies and how I spend my time to what is most important.
This last week was a fun one: I caught up with friends and big thinkers around the world, continued understanding the challenges surrounding women entrepreneurs’ access to capital, and more deeply explored the mental health and wellness space. I also gave a talk on the topic ‘Matriarchy’ (here) which pushed me out of my comfort zone and built more vulnerability in how I share my perspectives and story.
This week, I’m sharing a reflection on the first half of 2021 and how rock, sand and water relate to our minds.
Looking Back: First Half of 2021
It occurred to me over the past few days that we’re halfway through 2021 — a year that’s held the tension of fluidity and flow (which feels fast) and start-stop and doubt (which feels slow). The first half of the year brought a lot of changes in my internal and external lives and I’m feeling the cumulative and compounded effect of what James Clear writes about:
The habits and the way we spend our days are the compound interest of self-improvement.
It’s often hard to see changes on a day to day — or even week to week — basis, and we have the opportunity to look back, observe what’s changed and highlight the positive effects of daily practice. For example, I reflected that I was building my identity around being a runner last year. I started by struggling to run 1 kilometer and over a few weeks and months, as I built my mental stamina and lung capacity, I was able to run 10+ kilometers easily. On my road of recovery since I broke my ankle in January, I started running again and was able to accelerate up to 5 kilometers much easier. And all of that was because of the habit I built last year that enabled me to first believe that I could run 5 kilometers and second, actually do it. Removing my mental barriers on what I thought I could and couldn’t do allowed me to accelerate my ability to run longer distances in a shorter recovery period this year.
As I look back at the first half of 2021, I’ve seen changes from who I was at the beginning of the year and who I am today. I see how my conversations, brainstorms and focus areas have helped me evolve my North Star and shift my thinking on where I can best play. I see a deeper relationship I have with Buddhism than I did at the start of the year. I see a more dynamic relationship I have with exercise, sleep and food than a more regimented one I had at the start of the year. I see more time devoted to spontaneity and emergence and a consistent writing practice. I’m continuing to evolve and I’m learning to celebrate the movement I’ve made towards investing in my internal self-learning.
Some of the key reflections I’ve had on the first half of the year:
- I’ve come to accept that there isn’t just seasonality in years and quarters, but also in weeks and days. Knowing this, checking in with myself and pausing instead of powering through to the point of feeling overwhelmed is a rule of thumb I want to continue building upon.
- The world presents fascinating patterns across cultures, industries and geographies. If we look closely, let go of pre-existing opinions and stay curious, we can uncover incredible points of connection and opportunity.
- True, sustainable growth is cultivated through a lifetime or many lifetimes. Without cultivating patience with oneself and with others, growth wouldn’t be possible. Judgement serves no purpose but to feed my insecurities.
- I’ve often imagined each cell of my body as a mirror of the universe and my body as a universe holding many organisms. When I feel emotionally/mentally blocked, it’s a reflection of a larger systemic challenge the world is facing. So any work or minute I spend cultivating peace, acceptance and compassion in my thoughts, feelings and action and wishing it for others is a moment I’m contributing to shifting the world to a kinder place. Meditation is crucial.
Questions to reflect on:
- When you look back on the first half of 2021, what internal and external changes do you see? What have you learned about yourself and the world?
- How do you understand your own growth journey?
- In what ways have you cultivated patience for yourself? In what ways do you want to cultivate patience for yourself in the second half of the year?
- What identit(ies) do you want to build for the second half of 2021? What beliefs do you need to create and habits do you need to put in place for you to build those identities?
Rock, Soil and Water
This week, I read the Lekha Sutta, an aphorism of Buddha that has been preserved orally by his followers. In the Lekka Sutta, Buddha shares on the three types of people there are in the world as they relate to anger.
“Monks, there are these three types of individuals to be found existing in the world. Which three? An individual like an inscription in rock, an individual like an inscription in soil, and an individual like an inscription in water.
“And how is an individual like an inscription in rock? There is the case where a certain individual is often angered, and his anger stays with him a long time. Just as an inscription in rock is not quickly effaced by wind or water and lasts a long time, in the same way a certain individual is often angered, and his anger stays with him a long time. This is called an individual like an inscription in rock.
“And how is an individual like an inscription in soil? There is the case where a certain individual is often angered, but his anger doesn’t stay with him a long time. Just as an inscription in soil is quickly effaced by wind or water and doesn’t last a long time, in the same way a certain individual is often angered, but his anger doesn’t stay with him a long time. This is called an individual like an inscription in soil.
“And how is an individual like an inscription in water? There is the case where a certain individual — when spoken to roughly, spoken to harshly, spoken to in an unpleasing way — is nevertheless congenial, companionable, & courteous. Just as an inscription in water immediately disappears and doesn’t last a long time, in the same way a certain individual — when spoken to roughly, spoken to harshly, spoken to in an unpleasing way — is nevertheless congenial, companionable, & courteous. This is called an individual like an inscription in water.
“These are the three types of individuals to be found existing in the world.”
Reading this made me reflect on instances in which I was an individual like an inscription in rock, soil or water. When I hold onto anger, I feel justified as if I’m in the right and the other person or situation is in the wrong. But at the end of the day, the only person who ends up hurting is myself. When I allow anger to pass and I work on contributing to building an equal and just world from a compassionate mind and perspective, I find that my resilience is higher and my heart is calmer in the face of adversity.
Besides anger, I’m learning that all emotions could be engaged with like rock, soil and water. Everything ultimately passes and the faster we allow emotions to pass like water, the less suffering there is from holding onto more positive-feeling emotions and seeing them slip away and from holding onto more negative-feeling emotions and allowing them to fester. The faster I can identify emotions and recognize their fleeting nature, the faster I can move back into an equilibrium and a peaceful state that’s more resilient, compassionate and kind. Ultimately, a peaceful world is one that I hope for and that work starts within myself.
Questions to reflect on:
- In what ways in this past day, week or month have you been an individual like an inscription in rock, an individual like an inscription in soil, and an individual like an inscription in water?
- Have any emotions or thoughts been truly like rock? How have they or haven’t they served you?
- What would it look like if your relationship with your emotions and thoughts were like water?
What I’m listening to this week: Happiness Lessons of the Ancients: The Torah
